I was helping my four-year-old son get ready one morning, and I grunted on my way to kneel down and tie his shoes. He’s a thoughtful little boy, so he looked at me, concerned, and asked, “Are you hurt?”
I responded shortly because we needed to be on the road: “No, son.”
He became quiet, so I glanced up to see what was wrong. To my surprise, he was almost crying.
“Why are you saying ‘no’ to me?”
Words are not communication until they get it.
Many times, we think of communication as “making our point.” However, we have not actually communicated our point until they understand the message we shared in the same way that we meant it. I had intended to tell my son that I was not hurt. Instead, he heard that he was in trouble. Whose fault was that? Mine.
When you are communicating, you are responsible for how your listeners understand the message. If they take the wrong action after misunderstanding you, in their mind they are still doing what you told them to do.
How can you learn from my mistake?
- Be sure your tone, body language, and words are saying the same thing. Your words carry far less weight than your nonverbal cues. It is easy to fake what we say; it is much more difficult to fake body language.
- Ensure your message can only be understood one way: the way you meant it. If you are writing (email, text message, memo, etc.), read and reread it for ambiguous or confusing language and syntax. If you are speaking face-to-face, pay attention to your listeners’ faces and body language.
- Do not assume that everyone knows what you mean. Often, in order to save time or effort, we neglect to make sure we are on the same page with our audience. In doing so, we confuse them, irritate them, and set them up for failure.
Take ownership of your communication and follow this advice, and you’ll be on your way to a much easier work environment. If we can be of assistance to you or your organization, contact us for a consultation or training session using this link. We have dozens of offerings available today, or we can tailor-fit the training to your business’s specific needs.